Tomisms and other Family Frazes

When Tom & I first began to spend time together, I noticed that he had some very colorful vocabulary. By colorful, I don't mean blue language...but rather idioms unique to him/his family and/or American Cowboy dialect. My kids had never heard many of these phrases, so we began a project called Tom's Dictionary. It's a living document, as we are still finding,adding and creating words & phrases to write in it. It began with Tomisms but we're getting many entries that didn't originate with Tom.

It's not in alphabetical order. Every family unit creates some phrases of their own unique to them. Feel free to share. I'd love to see them!

And we begin....drum roll....cymbals...silence...microphone buzz....

Nunya: 1) Nothing or none of your business. What you you mean what color are my under wear! That's nunya! How many? Nunya!

In there like a hair in a biscuit: 1) Very closely associated with 2) tightly situated, difficult to remove. They really like his work at that company, he's in there like a hair in a biscuit.

Colder'n a wedge: (colder than a wedge) 1) very cold. I need my long johns, it's colder'n a wedge out there.

That's a pain in the Tom: 1) difficult or unwelcome task or situation. It's time to clean the gutters again. That's a pain in the Tom. Hey, somebody used my toothbruth to clean the tile in the bathroom! "What a pain in the Tom!"

Temporary Joy: ...."Hey Tom, what are those rabbits doing? Paco's experiencing temporary joy, I think he's had enough, why don't you send him back to his own cage. ref. Heather's rabbit.

Butt Crack of Dawn: Very early in the morning. The sun wasn't hardly up, they got up at the butt-crack of dawn. (And weren't very thrilled)

Daylight in the Swamp: Time to get up in the morning. The sun is high enough to get into the low part of the valley. "What time is it?" "It's daylight in the swamp - roll out of bed!"

Bazooms: (bossoms) 1) female protuberances. My, her dress was a bit low, her bazooms were falling out all over the place.

Swammich: 1) a dish prepared with food (usually meat) between two slices of bread. " I had a turkey swammich for lunch."

Since Hector was a Pup: 1) a long time ago. "I haven't been there since Hector was a pup. (1980)

MR: 1) Them Are 2) They Are) MR ducks, MR not ducks. OSMR. CM Wangs.

OSMR: "Oh yes, them are."

Degredients: 1) items joined together to make a finished products. ex. ingredients to make a cake. I need to buy degredients to make a cheese cake.

It's cold enought to freeze the balls off a brass monkey: 1) It's extremely cold. Back when they had cannon balls on the ships, they stored the canon balls on a plate with divits for the balls to rest in. It was a triangle shaped plate bolted to the deck near the canon. the balls stack pyramid style. The plate was called a monkey. In cold weather, the monkey would contact and the balls would roll off. they discovered that if they used brass to build the monkey, it didn't contract as much. so, only in the most extreme cold weather, was it cold enough to "freeze the balls off a brass monkey."

Itch: 1) alternate for 'to scratch'. "Itch my back!"

Smiles: 1) substitution for the word mile. How many miles 'til we get there dad? 50 more smiles!

More bird: 1) a request for 2nds at holiday time, specifically TURKEY. Aren't you full yet? Heck no, more bird! More bird: Oh no, I'm too full. OK more bird!

Hysterical sites: 1) historical sites. 2) places of interest with historically significant events/places/people associated with it/them. On our next trip, we plan to stop by and visit several important hysterical sites.

Destructions: 1)alternative word for instruction. 2) a 'how to' list. 3) On christmas Eve, dad is sittin' in the family room with a pile of toys still in the boxes, each with their own destructions to help him put them together. Hey mom, how do I get this thing put together? I don't know, maybe the destructions will help.

Tonies: 1) alternative word for pony (small horse) While driving in the car - looking out the window - Hey, look at all them tonies!

mookies: 1) short for Moo-cow or cow. Look at all them mookies out in the field!

turn right: example; "Hachtel left." Turn right at the next corner, no, your other right. I turned left, I mean a Hachtel right.

turn left: example Hachtel right; Turn left up there at the next light. OK, let's try again when we drive around the block. No, your other left! We didn't need to go there anyway, did we? Note: The origin of this idiom is disputed and under discussion. Grandpa Hachtel claims that it was imported down stream in his line...

Steep as a cow's face: 1) extremely steep. A cow's face is close to straight up & down. If you don't understand it, just look at a cow. Self explanatory.

Mountain Cows: 1) cows that are specially bred with short legs on the left and long legs on the right so they can graze on the face of the mountain and not fall off. "That can't be true daddy, there's cow's facing both ways on that mountain! What you see there children are left handed mountain cows and right-handed mountain cows. It's very important to have equal numbers of each, so the grass gets trimmed going both ways......Oh.

Bull Goose: 1) the head goose. When looking at geese flying in the V formation in the sky, the bull goose is the one at the point of the V - in charge of the rest. They all follow him. Look at that bull goose flying up there. He won't stay long, the drag of the other geese will tire him out soon.

Dang (darn) Yahoo: (courtesy of Grandma Betty) A yahoo is a worthless young man hanging around trying to date your daughter. A dang/darn yahoo is a yahoo who was particularly objectionable or persistent. "That darned yahoo showed up when you were't here last night. Why don't you tell him to get lost?"

Description of a Yahoo: sloppily dressed, poor manners, blue language.

Big Ben, Parliment, Tower of London - repeat...repeat...: 1) a term used to describe repeated missed turns, so you see the same sights repeatedly, ref. National Lampoon's European Vacation. Driving 'round in circles, trying to figure out where to turn to get to where you're going. Look Kids, Big Ben, Parliment, Tower of London - repeat...repeat...:

Giant Marshmallows: 1) large white objects left in the fields in Oregon when the farmer is done harvesting his hay. "Look kids, giant marshmallows!" Those aren't marshmallows, they're too big. That's why we call them GIANT Marshmellows. The farmer hauls them to the marshmallow factory where they get chopped into bite sized pieces & sealed in plastic bags & sold in the stores as treats. Roberson import.

If you don't stop that you're going to be walking around the a hand on the top of you head with a knot underneath. (Pat Douthit's dad Bill)
self explanatory.

You're breeding a scab on the end of your nose: reference to any activity likely to cause damage to ones' body or face. To a child, climbing on top of the swing set. "You're breeding a scab on the end of your nose!"

What part of NO don't you understand? You don't have to explain yourself. No is a complete sentence. No.

Off like a heard of turtles: 1) moving very slowly. 2) late getting started 3) behind scheduled activities 4) reference to chronic procrastination. Roberson import

A Diller a Dollar a ten o'clock scholar what makes you come so soon, you used to come at ten o'clock and now you come at noon.

Grat'is the Gift 'at God 'er geist, to see ur silves uz others seeist: Grandpa Ralph (Sandi's paternal grandfather), Scottish ancestry. He would say this with a thick Scottish brogue at many an opportune moment... (Great is the gift that God has given us, to see ourselves as others see us.)


No rest for the wicked and the righteous don't need it: Grandma Colleen (Sandi's mom) 1) sitting down on a work day is a no win situation, 2) Get up and get moving No you can't take a nap, there's no rest for the wicked and the righteous don't need it. Implication, if you're living/eating right, you'll have the strength to make it through the day without napping. i.e. What have you been doing that you need a nap?

Thoughts on Step Families: Part 2: Stepping with the Ancestors

Sometimes when people talk of step families, they represent them as a modern custom, one that our ancestors' generation did not engage in nearly to the extent that we do now. Somehow embedded in this is the expectation of some that step families could be avoided altogether if the participants had somehow tried harder. As I have read through my own and others' family histories, I have been struck with the frequency and neccesity of the step family arrangement in the 1700, 1800 & 1900's.
To begin with, 100-200 years ago, the life expectancy of men and women was much less than it is now. Women often died in childbirth, leaving the father with small children who needed to be cared for. Weather marriages ended by death or divorce, there were no community/government sponsored childcare services, the most practical remedy was to remarry, thus creating numerous step family arrangements.

In my own family lines, Rasmus Nielsen Jeppesen and his wife Ane Hansen were born in Denmark. They had six children, 2 boys & 4 girls. The boys lived, but three of the four girls died at birth. They heard the gospel message and were baptised in 1853. Rasmus made major changes in his life as he & his wife embraced gospel teachings, including giving up gambling and enduring the pain of life long friends and beloved family members turning their backs on them.
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Maren Christina was working as a governess for Johan & Mette Marie Ottesen when she accepted the gospel. She went into the waters of baptism on her crutches and walked out without ever needing them again. She was a woman of great faith. Johan was so impressesd by this event that he began to learn more about her religion and gained his own testimony of the gospel. His wife Mette did not. His baptism became a point of contention in their marriage. They had four children. Johan actively participated in the local gospel meetings. Mette rejected this message and her husband also. They divorced and divided custody of the children. Maren continued in John's household to provide care for his two older children. Their love for Jesus Christ and his gospel helped grow a strong bond between them and they married in 1852.
Those who joined the church in Denmark were shunned & persecuted by their families, friends and the general public. Mobs broke into their meeting places, shouted obscenities, destroyed their belongings and threatened them physically. It's not hard to see why someone would want to divorce their recently baptised Mormon spouse, if they had no testimony of their own to inspire such a radical change of life. When the call came for the saints to gather in America, Rasmus & Ane and John & Maren were ready to leave.
440 of them traveled on the Cimberia from Copenhagen to Liverpool England. From Liverpool to New Orleans they traveled on the James Nesmith. Accomodations were dirty & cramped and the food & water unclean. Ane Hansen died five days before they reached New Orleans. At New Orleans they boarded the Oceana Riverboat headed for St. Louis. On this boat, Maren lost her husband Johan and his son Christian the next day. Rasmus then lost his son Carl, who was only 3 1/2 years old. Cholera caused many of these deaths.

They traveled to Mormon Grove, four miles west of Atchison on the Missouri River to prepare to cross the planes to Salt Lake Valley. Rasmus with his 9 year old son Hans took responsibility to help Maren and her two step daughters Ellen Catherine and Margrethe. They began this journey on June 13th, 1855, and arrived on September 7th of the same year. Having depended on each other as they crossed the plains to Utah, Rasmus & Maren married 6 months after their arrival in Salt Lake City. Maren and Rasmus continued to help many Danish immigrants over the years to get settled as they arrived in Utah.

Emma Emilia Bravandt

Another ancestor was Emma Emilie Bravandt. Her mother's first husband left her a widow. Her second husband was Peter Bravandt. Their first child was born in 1835. They married in 1836. Emma was born in 1837. Peter & Maren (Emma's mother) lived apart for a number of years. Peter was baptised in 1852 in Copenhagen. He then returned to Switzerland to preach the gospel to his relatives. He returned to Copenhagen and taught the gospel to his daughters. His step-daughter, Anne, was baptised in April 1853 and Emma on December 31st 1853, a few months after her mother passed away. When Emma's mother Maren died, she left everything to her two daughters and specifically excluded her husband Peter. Her disapproval of his choices was clear.

Anne traveled to America on the ship "Charles Buck" and then by Wagon Train in 1853 to Salt Lake. She later married John Haslam and raised her family there. Her father, Peter left Denmark in 1855 but never reached Utah. He died in Mormon Grove on November 20,1855. After crossing the Atlantic, Emma traveled with the Willie Handcart Company in 1856 to reach the Salt Lake Valley. This was one of the two companies who began their journey very late in the season and suffered severe hardship because of early snow & harsh weather conditions. Many of their company died before they reached the Valley. They were met by rescuers from Salt Lake at the 6th crossing of the Sweet Water in Wyoming. She later married Rasmus Nielsen and had eight children. Last summer, we traveled there to retrace Emma's steps. Her name is one of many on a monument recognizing the events that took place there. We signed our names in the book of descendents of the Willie Handcart Company.

Blood ties are strong. They help us hold families together. He who doesn't care for his own is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8) We take care of our families. We all belong to the same spiritual family. We are all brothers and sisters regardless of which continent we were born on or the color of our skin or what we choose to believe. The ties created by the gospel of Jesus Christ can be strong like blood lines, because the gospel teaches us that we all belong to the same family, with Heavenly parents. They are real, and they love us.
In biological & step families, we're held together by a common bond. That tie can be strengthened or weakened or even broken by individual choices. As families / step families in the gospel, we know that we're already family on the level that lasts. We each determine the depth of these relationships.

Thoughts on Step Families: part 1

Grandpa Ralph - Grandma Evelyn - her son Warren

Each person has their own experiences and their own memories. We can all share an event in the same time and space and come away with very different recollections. Ask any siblings anywhere to give their perspective of a single event, and you will hear different versions from each of them. Just like two people looking at the same landscape, but from different locations, or at a different time of day, with eyes trained to notice different things, the view will not be the same. It's interesting how our own perspective and attitude shades what we are able to see, what we believe to be true and what we remember. As I write, please understand that these are my memories, shared from the perspective that I know the best, my own.

My first experience with step families began before I was born. My grandfather Ralph, was a farmer in the Willamette Valley in Oregon. He loved my grandmother Valerie dearly and would walk for miles just to be with her. She was a school teacher. They were born 3 weeks apart in the spring of 1893 and were married at 21 in December of 1914. She died at 46, two days after their youngest child Ruth was stillborn. (They're buried together in a cemetary in Salem. I have taken my children to see their graves many times as I tell them the stories. ) As a widower, Grandpa had a house full of children and a farm to run. He hired a house keeper, Evelyn. Evelyn had three children of her own. (Her husband had been in an accident and suffered brain damage that caused violent and unpredictable behavior. They divorced and she found it neccesary to work to support her family.) After a while, the arrangement seemed like a good one, and they got married.

The day of the wedding, the family was involved in canning peaches. At noon, they stopped, got dressed up and went down to the river. There, Bishop Wall, the local LDS bishop performed the ceremony. After the ceremony, they went back to canning peaches. Grandma Evelyn told me that they canned about 700 quarts that day. (1/2 gallons & quarts combined) In the evening, she & grandpa and about 22 others drove to the coast for the honeymoon. Grandpa had many foster kids over the years and this was a family affair.

My father was 11 when his mother died and 13 when his father married Grandma Evelyn. Grandma Evelyn was 8 years younger than Grandpa Ralph. Dad had 6 older siblings, not all of whom agreed with their father's choice to remarry. But Grandpa Ralph was used to that. His family didn't approve of his first wife either and he married her anyway. They held a meeting to formalize their dissent, but Grandpa wasn't dissuaded. He credited his stubborn streak to his Scottish heritage.

I suspect that for some of these children, there would never be a person or a time that would meet with their approval for their father to remarry. They couldn't see past their own loss to the grief & loneliness that their father was experiencing. His desire to remarry was viewed as selfish, because it didn't meet their needs at the time.

Grandpa's first wife was a Mormon, but grandpa never joined the church while she lived. Eventually he and Grandma Evelyn did join the church and were married in the temple. When Grandpa Ralph was sealed to his first wife Valerie, Grandma Evelyn stood in proxy for her. I remember seeing a picture of Grandpa Ralph as a young man with Grandma Valerie by his side, hanging on the wall at the head of their bed. Another picture of him as a middle aged man with Grandma Evelyn hung below it. It just seemed so natural. Grandma Evelyn, my step-grandmother decorated that room. If a picture can speak a thousand words, the simple placement of those pictures spoke volumes.

I remember the day I learned that she wasn't my 'real' grandmother, but only a step grandmother. It was just assumed that everyone knew. Being one of the younger grandchildren, sometimes these things got overlooked. The difficulty came because it seemed that the 'step' part was designed to separate me from her, and I didn't like it. My maternal grandmother died when I was a teenager. I never spent much time at her home, she was ill and lived far away. I have very few memories of her. She remained a largely unknown entity, like Grandma Valerie. My grandmother was Grandma Evelyn.

Grandma Evelyn always had snacks available when grandchildren came to visit. She spent time teaching me to sew and can fruit and vegetables. I picked pie cherries in her backyard until the juice ran down my arm past the pits & on down to my waist. When you pick pie cherries, you squeeze the fruit off the pit and leave the pit & stem on the tree. It's a sticky job! We ate gravenstein apples in the side yard. She taught me how to cook an egg sunny side up and get it done on top without crusting the bottom. (She used a small cast iron pan, brushed it lightly with bacon grease, put the eggs in and then a couple tablespoons of water to make a lot of steam. Quickly cover with a lid, let the steam cook the top of the eggs for a minute, then serve.) She let me play her piano for hours and never told me that she would rather watch TV or listen to the radio, or that she was just tired of hearing me play. She loved the hymns too. She taught me to use ginger tea for an upset stomach. She knew a lot about natural remedies. I used to sleep in her basement in the spare bed in the summer, with my cousins. It was cool down there. The basement was lined with food storage. :( Sometimes we snuck cans of cooked bacon for a midnight snack. Sorry Grandma! We lived next door for several years while I was a teenager and I was richer for it.

Our family struggled in the years after my parents' divorce and I didn't have many nice clothes. We ate potatos and gravy a lot. I saved up my baby sitting money and bought a navy blue peacoat. I wore it everywhere. It was better than anything underneath. I even wore it in the blistering heat of summer. When others encouraged me to take it off, I told them I was cold. Just leave me alone already! Grandma Evelyn decided it was time to help me sew a new dress. She let me select the fabric, trim and pattern. When it was done, the peacoat came off, and I kept sewing. She fed & cared for my body and she nourished my spirit.

She worked on geneology and prepared books of remembrance for all of her children. She made one for my father with a hand painted family crest, pedigree charts, pedigree pictures, family group sheets and several pages of family history. I inherited this book from my father. It's a treasure and very helpful as I continue researching my ancestors.

She had over 70 grandchildren, blood line & steps. She was very short, under 5 feet tall. I doubt that she weighed over 100 pounds. She had Indian ancestry and her thick dark hair grew to her ankles. It was so heavy, she eventually cut it short to help relieve her migraine headaches. One of my most prized possessions is a lock of her hair.

My memories of Grandma Evelyn are a wellspring of love and acceptance and belonging that I still drink from. I so look forward to seeing her again. She is buried next to Grandpa Ralph, who is buried next to Grandma Valerie & baby Ruth.

Family Fast Day

Today was the first Sunday of the Month of June 2009. It's a designated Family Fast Day.

Is not this the fast that I have chosen?

to loose the bands of wickedness,

to undo the heavy burdens,

and to let the oppressed go free,

and that ye break every yoke?

Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry,

and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house?

when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him;

and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh? (Isaiah 58:6-7)

When we fast, we abstain from eating food/drink for 24 hours. During that time, we pray for special blessings, including relief from heavy burdens and freedom from those things that drag us down. We then take the money we would have used for food during that time and give it to the poor, as an offering to The Lord.

Today, we joined together to fast for Starla. This is like a giant group hug. :) She is facing a number of challenges in her young life. At 18, she is attending College and taking coursework in Criminal Justice. She plans to graduate with a 2 year degree before she turns 21. She is also working 20-35 hours/week as a sales clerk. We are so proud 0f her and how hard she works to acheive her goals.

We love you Starla!

My Song in the Night

(The last link was disabled, here's a new one)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0O1DV5M1ww

On Sunday, I spoke of how much I love association with those who seek the spirit. When we're in tune with the spirit, we see more opportunities to bless the lives of those around us and are more ready to receive what's needed. This short video offers a brief glimpse of what the world can become... I hope sooner rather than later.

12 week check in: Faith & Works in Action

We have been working on improving our health for more than 12 weeks now. It helps to stay focused when you occasionally stop and measure for results. Otherwise it's rather like playing tennis without the net.

There are several measures of success that we use. Some measures are more important than others. We've only used the scale (weight & percent body fat) once each 6 weeks. We've also used circumference measurements. (who cares how much you weigh, when you can fit into size 8 pants?!!) I've noticed that my hair & fingernails are stronger and growing faster since we gave up sugar. And, I enjoy giving away clothes that I've shrunk out of and finding smaller sizes. It is so cool to see them leave my closet.

We have each lost 4% body fat since we began. We're focusing on a healthy body fat range, rather than a healthy weight range. Last time I measured, I had 118 pounds lean body mass. Some of my ancestors were short & stocky. I wouldn't go so far as to mention Hobits, but others have not been so circumspect. (Grandpa rode Broncos in the rodeo, they called him White Lightening because of his white blond hair, at least that's what I was told...)

FYI: Most women I know, are below 100 pounds LBM.

To maintain that LBM and still stay within the standard recommended weight for my body height, I would have to accept a dangerously low body fat percentage. So, every 6 weeks, we recheck the body fat percentage. I don't have a target weight range yet, I'll know what it is when the body fat percentage is right.

Twelve weeks ago, I was much more tired. I caught a bug twice and it took a while to get over each one. It seemed that each time I tried to begin daily exercise, my body rebelled and I would get sick/stay sick/ have a relapse. So, I decided that more sleep was what I needed, and averaged 9-11 hours sleep/night for a while. I am now sleeping 7-8 hours/night and exercising almost daily, sometimes twice/day, walking between 3-6 miles each day. And I don't come home exhausted. I also use my infa-red sauna several times a week for 30 minutes, along with magnesium salts baths. It feels great!

On the other hand, before losing adipose tissue, I never stopped to consider that fat cells produce estrogen......there is nothing so constant in life as change.