Happy Anniversary Tom!

This is Tom, and today is our 7th anniversary.

Tom is my dearest friend and most constant companion. I trust him like no other.

I love taking long walks together. It gives us a chance to talk and draw close without so many distractions. We discuss challenges & opportunities and make plans for the future.

I enjoy the time we spend taking car rides together for the same reason, (but not as much as the long walks!)

I enjoy our time doing geneology together and learning more about each other's family tree.

I enjoy working together in the same room, each on our own projects, no conversation, just being in the same place together. So much can be communicated without words, if you're listening.

This morning Tom woke up early to attend a 7:00am Priesthood Meeting with the Stake President. He didn't get to sleep until after midnight. His faithfulness in fulfilling his callings increases my love for him and strenthens my trust that he will do what's right, often with a notable personal sacrifice. His offering to the Lord.

Those who know me are aware that my ability to trust others has been significantly affected by a number of painful events that have transpired in my life. Some lessons come the hard way.

When Tom and I were dating, he told me that he loved me. My first response was to roll my eyes and express "Yeah, right." It took a while to recognize that this was a man whose talk matched his walk. If he said it, it was true.

(Unless he said it with a certain twinkle in his eye, and then you knew that his Irish ancestry was showing and he'd kissed the blarney stone, but that's another story :) )

Tom is an exceptional individual. He treats perfect strangers with uncommon respect and courtesy. He seems to always be on the lookout for small acts of kindness that will brighten someone else's day.

When an individual gets in his face with rude, offensive or untrue remarks, Tom doesn't react, he takes a thoughtful course of action designed to make a friend of the accuser if possible, and if not possible, to at least leave the man with some dignity when he recognizes his error.

Tom, these last seven years have gone by so fast. There have been many bumps in the road; changes of direction, tears, laughter & heartache, uncertainty, struggles to blend/understand two family styles with a minimum of stress, loss of employment, down-sizing & moving, changes of workplace, funerals, births, divorces & marriages, etc. Through it all, there has been understanding and hope. Things have a way of working out the way they need to.

Tom, I love you with all my heart & soul. Thank you for taking this walk with me.

Sandi

A number of years ago, I heard an interesting story. Someone wanted to know how the examples of others influences our ability and desire to keep trying even when things are difficult.

The project included a complicated set of blocks used to build a bridge. Two films were made demonstrating how to put the blocks together. In the first film, each block was put into place in the perfect order, there were no mistakes, no trial and error. The construction flowed seamlessly. In the second film, there were multiple trial and error attempts. Various avenues were explored and finally, the bridge was built. The first film was much shorter than the second.

The next step was to divide the learners into two groups. One group was shown the first film, the next group was shown the second film. Each group was then asked to construct the bridge of building blocks after viewing their instructional film.

When the two groups built their bridges, there was an interesting difference. Those in the group that saw the first film, of the perfect way to construct the bridge, were not very successful.

They would try to follow what they had seen, but when they couldn't duplicate the efforts of those they saw in the film, they gave up before the project was finished.

Those who saw the second film were much more successful in putting the bridge together. When they didn't do it perfectly the first time, they kept trying. They eventually figured it out and built the bridge.

Why am I writing about this?

As I look at my life, and the lives of those around me, it's not hard to see the imperfections. We're all human and prone to error. We're given instructions about how to meet our challenges and avoid the pitfalls that would cause us to waste time on useless tangents.

But, like the film, most of us don't do it right the first time. We learn our best lessons through trial and error. It's hard to watch others make choices that you believe will bring them pain and heartache. It takes a certain level of understanding and maturity to hold your piece (and your tongue) and let nature take it's course. We're each responsible for our own choices. We are taught. Sometimes we pay attention and sometimes we ignore it. The stuff that is ignored has a way of showing up over and over until we finally pay attention and learn the lesson that is before us.

When I think about this story, it helps me remember to be gentle with others and with myself while we're working on our bridges. :)