A number of years ago, I heard an interesting story. Someone wanted to know how the examples of others influences our ability and desire to keep trying even when things are difficult.

The project included a complicated set of blocks used to build a bridge. Two films were made demonstrating how to put the blocks together. In the first film, each block was put into place in the perfect order, there were no mistakes, no trial and error. The construction flowed seamlessly. In the second film, there were multiple trial and error attempts. Various avenues were explored and finally, the bridge was built. The first film was much shorter than the second.

The next step was to divide the learners into two groups. One group was shown the first film, the next group was shown the second film. Each group was then asked to construct the bridge of building blocks after viewing their instructional film.

When the two groups built their bridges, there was an interesting difference. Those in the group that saw the first film, of the perfect way to construct the bridge, were not very successful.

They would try to follow what they had seen, but when they couldn't duplicate the efforts of those they saw in the film, they gave up before the project was finished.

Those who saw the second film were much more successful in putting the bridge together. When they didn't do it perfectly the first time, they kept trying. They eventually figured it out and built the bridge.

Why am I writing about this?

As I look at my life, and the lives of those around me, it's not hard to see the imperfections. We're all human and prone to error. We're given instructions about how to meet our challenges and avoid the pitfalls that would cause us to waste time on useless tangents.

But, like the film, most of us don't do it right the first time. We learn our best lessons through trial and error. It's hard to watch others make choices that you believe will bring them pain and heartache. It takes a certain level of understanding and maturity to hold your piece (and your tongue) and let nature take it's course. We're each responsible for our own choices. We are taught. Sometimes we pay attention and sometimes we ignore it. The stuff that is ignored has a way of showing up over and over until we finally pay attention and learn the lesson that is before us.

When I think about this story, it helps me remember to be gentle with others and with myself while we're working on our bridges. :)