Thoughts on Step Families: Part 2: Stepping with the Ancestors

Sometimes when people talk of step families, they represent them as a modern custom, one that our ancestors' generation did not engage in nearly to the extent that we do now. Somehow embedded in this is the expectation of some that step families could be avoided altogether if the participants had somehow tried harder. As I have read through my own and others' family histories, I have been struck with the frequency and neccesity of the step family arrangement in the 1700, 1800 & 1900's.
To begin with, 100-200 years ago, the life expectancy of men and women was much less than it is now. Women often died in childbirth, leaving the father with small children who needed to be cared for. Weather marriages ended by death or divorce, there were no community/government sponsored childcare services, the most practical remedy was to remarry, thus creating numerous step family arrangements.

In my own family lines, Rasmus Nielsen Jeppesen and his wife Ane Hansen were born in Denmark. They had six children, 2 boys & 4 girls. The boys lived, but three of the four girls died at birth. They heard the gospel message and were baptised in 1853. Rasmus made major changes in his life as he & his wife embraced gospel teachings, including giving up gambling and enduring the pain of life long friends and beloved family members turning their backs on them.
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Maren Christina was working as a governess for Johan & Mette Marie Ottesen when she accepted the gospel. She went into the waters of baptism on her crutches and walked out without ever needing them again. She was a woman of great faith. Johan was so impressesd by this event that he began to learn more about her religion and gained his own testimony of the gospel. His wife Mette did not. His baptism became a point of contention in their marriage. They had four children. Johan actively participated in the local gospel meetings. Mette rejected this message and her husband also. They divorced and divided custody of the children. Maren continued in John's household to provide care for his two older children. Their love for Jesus Christ and his gospel helped grow a strong bond between them and they married in 1852.
Those who joined the church in Denmark were shunned & persecuted by their families, friends and the general public. Mobs broke into their meeting places, shouted obscenities, destroyed their belongings and threatened them physically. It's not hard to see why someone would want to divorce their recently baptised Mormon spouse, if they had no testimony of their own to inspire such a radical change of life. When the call came for the saints to gather in America, Rasmus & Ane and John & Maren were ready to leave.
440 of them traveled on the Cimberia from Copenhagen to Liverpool England. From Liverpool to New Orleans they traveled on the James Nesmith. Accomodations were dirty & cramped and the food & water unclean. Ane Hansen died five days before they reached New Orleans. At New Orleans they boarded the Oceana Riverboat headed for St. Louis. On this boat, Maren lost her husband Johan and his son Christian the next day. Rasmus then lost his son Carl, who was only 3 1/2 years old. Cholera caused many of these deaths.

They traveled to Mormon Grove, four miles west of Atchison on the Missouri River to prepare to cross the planes to Salt Lake Valley. Rasmus with his 9 year old son Hans took responsibility to help Maren and her two step daughters Ellen Catherine and Margrethe. They began this journey on June 13th, 1855, and arrived on September 7th of the same year. Having depended on each other as they crossed the plains to Utah, Rasmus & Maren married 6 months after their arrival in Salt Lake City. Maren and Rasmus continued to help many Danish immigrants over the years to get settled as they arrived in Utah.

Emma Emilia Bravandt

Another ancestor was Emma Emilie Bravandt. Her mother's first husband left her a widow. Her second husband was Peter Bravandt. Their first child was born in 1835. They married in 1836. Emma was born in 1837. Peter & Maren (Emma's mother) lived apart for a number of years. Peter was baptised in 1852 in Copenhagen. He then returned to Switzerland to preach the gospel to his relatives. He returned to Copenhagen and taught the gospel to his daughters. His step-daughter, Anne, was baptised in April 1853 and Emma on December 31st 1853, a few months after her mother passed away. When Emma's mother Maren died, she left everything to her two daughters and specifically excluded her husband Peter. Her disapproval of his choices was clear.

Anne traveled to America on the ship "Charles Buck" and then by Wagon Train in 1853 to Salt Lake. She later married John Haslam and raised her family there. Her father, Peter left Denmark in 1855 but never reached Utah. He died in Mormon Grove on November 20,1855. After crossing the Atlantic, Emma traveled with the Willie Handcart Company in 1856 to reach the Salt Lake Valley. This was one of the two companies who began their journey very late in the season and suffered severe hardship because of early snow & harsh weather conditions. Many of their company died before they reached the Valley. They were met by rescuers from Salt Lake at the 6th crossing of the Sweet Water in Wyoming. She later married Rasmus Nielsen and had eight children. Last summer, we traveled there to retrace Emma's steps. Her name is one of many on a monument recognizing the events that took place there. We signed our names in the book of descendents of the Willie Handcart Company.

Blood ties are strong. They help us hold families together. He who doesn't care for his own is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8) We take care of our families. We all belong to the same spiritual family. We are all brothers and sisters regardless of which continent we were born on or the color of our skin or what we choose to believe. The ties created by the gospel of Jesus Christ can be strong like blood lines, because the gospel teaches us that we all belong to the same family, with Heavenly parents. They are real, and they love us.
In biological & step families, we're held together by a common bond. That tie can be strengthened or weakened or even broken by individual choices. As families / step families in the gospel, we know that we're already family on the level that lasts. We each determine the depth of these relationships.